They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

Aaaaand the cold rolls into its seventh day. I am so tired of blowing my nose and coughing and I'm pretty sure that I am single handedly keeping Kleenex, Purell, and the makers of antiseptic disinfecting wipes in business. Yes, I know, TMI. But at this point it is impossible for me to think of anything else but my own bodily functions--seeing as how they have taken over my life.

Thanksgiving confession:
It's official, I am obsessed with Facebook. Is that too 7th grade girlish to admit? I find myself checking it a couple of times a day and thinking about the next clever statement I'm going to make with my status change. I'm sure that I'll tire of it eventually, but in the meantime, it is yet another distraction. (Like I didn't have enough of those already.)

Things I Am Thankful For (Or, Alternately, Things For Which I Am Thankful...If You Are Picky About Your Grammar)

A partial list:

1. My loving husband, TLS, who (in the words of the movie Juno, which I have watched far too much of lately) is the cheese to my macaroni.
2. My friends and family. 'nuff said.
3. The good ol' US of A
4. My job (not always my favorite place to be, but it sure helps keep the heat on, the cars in gas, and food on the table)
5. My overall good health
6. Blue skies, crisp weather and the smell of wood smoke

Head cold is progressing nicely into a lovely productive cough, right on schedule. I figure that I should feel really great just about the time that my Thanksgiving holiday is over. Ah well, things could be worse and I guess there is some irony in bemoaning something so inconsequential in a thanksgiving post.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday.

Ways to Know That Inertia Girl Is Off Her Game

Ways to know that Inertia Girl is off her game

1. No blog posting
2. $25 Amazon.com gift card money burning a hole in her pocket for weeks (WEEKS!) on end
3. Didn't finish reading the book club book for this month's meeting
4. Can't seem to muster any enthusiasm for composing, preparing or mailing the beloved Christmas Letter
5. Two words: HEAD COLD

I'm about a half a Kleenex box into a lovely head cold, which I can only hope doesn't head south into my chest. Mis-er-able. Ugh.

On positive side, after having two completely unrelated friends ask if I had a Facebook profile, I finally caved. Just what I needed, another way to procrastinate my schoolwork. : )

Happy Blog-iversary to Me

Well folks, it has been a year of blogging fun over here at Chez Inertia. I've certainly covered a broad (and probably uninteresting) range of topics in the last year and 119 posts. Thanks for indulging my need to put my deepest thoughts and silliest observations out there for others to enjoy. Here's to another year of fun!

Yes, You've Come to the Right Place

So instead of doing the homework I should have been doing, I've been playing with the ol' blog. First I added the countdown clock--the one that tells the world exactly how long until my 40th birthday. (I'm giving you all plenty of time to pick out just the right gift...oh, I jest!) You can't miss it, it's the big green monstrosity on the right.

Then I decided to try a new template. I'm not sure that I'm all on board with the change yet, but I can easily go back to the original one if I get the proverbial wild hair (or is it wild hare?). Feel free to comment honestly--I have no vested interest at this point.

A Post About Two Totally Unrelated Things

Unrelated thing #1:
So the day that I posted last (the date of which I could officially look up, but that would mean that I'd have to save what I've written as a draft and then go into Editing Posts mode and open that post to check the date and then close it and come back to what I have here and lord, if that doesn't seem like far too much work), I got a call from TLS that consisted of this:


TLS: I just read your blog posting.
Me: Yes?
TLS: BOOOORING!
Me: Sorry that I can't live up to your high expectations. What do you think is blog-worthy?
TLS: That my teams won both soccer games last night.
Me: I'll get right on that.


So, TLS, this one's for you. I officially announced to all five of my loyal readers (and a bunch of people all over the world that query Google for pictures of barn swallows - weird, I know) that your teams really kicked some booty. And now that I've written that entire story, I know that I posted last on Wednesday, which would be yesterday, but somehow it seemed like a much longer ago than that. (It's official; I'm losing my mind.)

Unrelated thing #2:
I got my graded project back last night. You know, the one that I spent a bazillion hours alternately writing and dejectedly rolling around on the floor moaning about. I got a 98! Wooo!
And yes, as excited as I was to get that awesome grade (which was pretty excited and involved running into the living room, yelling "I got a 98!", and flinging my arms and legs around in a spaz-tastic way) I was a teeeeny bit peeved to have lost those 2 points. Never happy, I know.

Still Not Dead or Eaten by Bears

Yes, the title to this post is accurate. I am neither dead nor eaten by bears, just haven't been in a blogging mood and haven't had much to blog about. (Believe me, as much as I don't want to write about indexing and specificity and exhaustivity, you don't want to read about them more.) I'll try to come up with something blog-worthy soon. Until then...hugs and kisses.

Second Greatest Quote Ever

Received from a friend via email today regarding my project-writing marathon last weekend:

"Just so you know, [insert name of university here] doesn't give anything higher than an "A" so why are you killing yourself?
Nevermind, I understand the quest for perfection."

Greatest Quote Ever

I spent about 25 hours last weekend (from Friday to Sunday) working on the second draft of this massive semester-long project in my Introduction to the Organization of Information class that was due on Monday. Long about 3 p.m. on Sunday, when I was almost literally lolling around on the floor in a state of writing overload and bemoaning the fact that I would *NEVER FINISH* the dang thing, TLS looks at me and says, ...

"You have a lot of words in your head. Surely you can find a few more."

I sure do love that man, but I hate it when he's right. (I did manage to get the thing written, not that anyone had any doubts. It might be complete and utter crap, but it was all on the page.)

One Weird Fact About Me

Don't ask me why this occurred to me today, but I realized that I have a weird relationship with ice in beverages. I have never been a fan of the ice-filled glass. I think that in my younger days I only saw the whole bad economic sense of it. I mean, when you buy a fountain drink that is filled to the rim with ice and then the beverage is poured in afterwards, what you're getting is less drink and more ice. I may be a capitalist pig, but I prefer more drink for my money. ("More drink, less ice" would look good on a shirt, I think.) And once you start using fewer ice cubes in your drinks, it is a short road (or at least a much shorter road) to using no ice cubes in your drinks.

Totally irrelevant aside:
Although, come to think of it, this whole topic made me nostalgic for the "chewy" ice sold at the locally owned convenience store in my home town. I know you're going to laugh hysterically, but where I grew up (Amarillo, Texas), we didn't have 7-11 or Circle K, just the Toot N Totum. There is a whole story about the name and how they beat the big boys of the convenience store world if you follow the link. But anyway, to get past the digression in my digression, they sell the best ice in the world. I have no idea why it is chewy rather than crunchy, but it.is.the.best. And as I've already established that I'm not a fan of the ice in general, that's high praise from me. I can't believe that I didn't go to one for old times sake when I was back there last year for my high school reunion.
End of totally irrelevant aside.

Back when TLS and I first bought our house, we ended up with a hand me down refrigerator without an ice machine. Since I was already well into my "I don't need ice in my drinks" phase (plus I hated filling, cracking and refilling the crappy plastic ice trays), I started opting out of ice usage in general. Even when we got the spiffy new refrigerator with the ice and water in the door, I mostly just use it when making an adult beverage with crushed ice. We also don't refrigerate our bottled water. I know, it's weird, but it's how I roll. And while I'm not averse to drinks with ice, I'm perfectly happy with my plain old, room temperature water. Go figure.

As Wholesome As Apple Pie

The set up:
There is about a five-mile stretch of our drive in to work that has a traffic light every mile or so. The powers that be do not have these lights synchronized, so it is nearly impossible to catch all of them as green. It does happen infrequently, though. When that happens, it's enough of a rarity that it's worth commenting upon.

The actual conversation this morning: **
Me: (While TLS drives through the final light) Wow! It's a Monday morning miracle!
TLS: Why?
Me: We made all the lights. They were all green.
TLS: (Looking at me strangely) We had to stop at one.
Me: No we didn't.
TLS: Yes, we did.
Me: Really?! No we didn't.
(pause)
Me: (laughing) Well, it felt like we made them all.
TLS: What are you doing there in the bathroom before I get up, (puts his index finger and thumb to his mouth and inhales) toking on your crack pipe?
Me: (hysterically laughing) You don't smoke a crack pipe like that.
TLS: (laughing) Oh yeah, how do you know?
Me: I know everything.

**Total disclaimer: Neither TLS nor I have ever done any illicit drugs. Ever. I swear. To make my point, we went to Jamaica (world capital of street-corner ganja sales) on our honeymoon and were perhaps the only people on the planet never offered drugs. We met another couple while we were there that didn't even make it out of the airport before being accosted. Apparently, our halos were too shiny! Inertia Girl and TLS, as wholesome as apple pie.

And, Yes, I Am Easily Amused

I was doing my assigned reading for my Health Sciences Information Management class this weekend and I literally giggled out loud. Just that moment, it dawned on me that I would have been reading that particular article ON MY OWN if it wasn't assigned. (I guess this means that the Medical Librarian track is really where I am supposed to be, which is good, since that's my declared specialization.)

You Can Call Me BOA

TLS and I were eating sushi at our favorite neighborhood sushi place this weekend. (And by neighborhood, I don't mean that it is in our neighborhood. We're lucky to have a gas station and a feed store in our neighborhood, so I'm figuring that the first sushi restaurant will open near us in, oh, about 2020. I simply mean to convey that it is a family-owned, non-conglomerate business. But I digress. As usual.) The sushi chef had a college football game on the TV and it happened to be between the school where TLS and I met and a local university. TLS graduated there in 1992 when I was attending my first (abortive) stint in graduate school--a story to be told for another day. Here's how the general conversation went:

Me: We should really go back for a football game this season.
TLS: Yeah, a couple of alumni like us, they must be dying to have us back.
Me: We'll, you're the alumnus. I just attended.
(pause)
TLS: They want you too; you're Bride of Alumnus

I think I might have found my new nickname.

You Know You Haven't Blogged in a While When You Can't Remember Your Password

As you might have guessed, I've been a tad busy lately--what with the school and the work and the teeny, tiny little things like sleeping and eating. I cannot believe that I let my advisor talk me into taking three classes. Three! Of course, one of them is a one hour class, but it is still eight semester hours and with working full time, I seem to be continually quite frazzled.

Not that anyone else really wants or needs to hear the rambling whining from me. ("Oooh, poor Inertia Girl. All that school must be so *taxing*!!") So feel free to click along to something else if you find this a little too much to take.

I've been wigging out over school and work alternately, and sometimes school and work simultaneously. I'm guessing that it's been quite a hoot for my BFF, Pam and, of course, the mostly underrated TLS. Pam was talking me off the ledge the other day (by reminding me that it is only my rampant over-achieving that is making me insane and that I might want to take it down a notch--good advice for me no matter what's going on in my life) and I realized that it truly will take a village to get me through grad school. (So thanks to all my fellow villagers. You know who you are!)

And on a completely unrelated note, is it unhealthy to be checking the weather sites about once an hour for updated Ike tracking?! Such a weather nerd. (Or nerd in general.)

What To Title a Post When You Can't Seem To Think of Anything Witty (or Even Pseudo-Witty)

Brain...is...in...overload...right...now.

I just finished writing a discussion posting about U.S. Health Care and Medical Information for my SLIS 5365 class and I think I've managed to use up all the words in my brain. While my three paragraphs were, I'm sure, scintillating, I seem to have overloaded the ol' neural circuits. However, being the dedicated blogger I am, I thought I'd at least give you all something to read. (Really, no thanks are necessary. Just send money. Oh! I jest!)

A vacation story for your general amusement:

We drove from our cabin in Idaho to visit Yellowstone National Park the Thursday of our vacation. (Climbing on my soapbox to add: I think everyone should see Yellowstone before they die. It is a seriously beautiful place that is unique in all the world. End of soapbox rant. You may continue with your enjoyable reading.) We came in through the west entrance which meant that we passed through West Yellowstone, Montana. After our hour and a half drive, we needed to use the facilities there and maybe buy a sweet snack or two to get us through until we could eat our picnic lunch. (Did anyone else just think "pic-a-nic basket" in Yoggi Bear's voice? No? Must be just me, then.) Anyway, TLS purchased a Sunkist orange soda and drank about half of it before we entered the park. He replaced the cap to the soda bottle and we proceeded to start enjoying our Yellowstone adventure. (Question for another post: Why do generally intelligent people lose their minds when they see wildlife?)

We ended up at the Old Faithful area around lunch so we retired to the car to open our pic-a-nic basket (Gotcha this time, didn't I?!). TLS started to open his soda bottle and--in the spirit of the park--the orange liquid formed its own violent geyser and spewed all over TLS's lap, the steering wheel and the car seat. ("Oh, Avis? Sorry about the sticky stain. I hope you have a steam cleaner handy.") TLS's shorts took the brunt of the eruption so until it dried it looked as if he had suffered an orange soda bathroom mishap. Come to think of it, even after it dried, it looked as if he had suffered an orange soda bathroom mishap, but he was a good sport and we managed to have a great day anyway.

We never did figure out why it acted that way. I've never seen that happen before and I hope never to see it again.

Bullet Points Are Going To Have To Suffice

Hola, blog-reading public, such that you are! Greetings from the Land of Total Insanity.

I came back from vacation to several projects at work that hadn't miraculously finished themselves while I was gone and graduate school looming. The projects are still in process, but I am thankfully making some progress with them. D-Day for G-School arrived bright and early (8 a.m.) last Saturday morning. It was an eight hour day packed full of educational goodness and has ushered in a new era in the life of Inertia Girl. I am calling this the Era of Anxiety. I thought at one point yesterday that my head was going to explode (or as TLS so aptly described it "experience cranial detonation") due to the number and variety of things on my to-do list. Luckly, I didn't suffer the destruction of any of my body parts and I've vowed to take a few minutes each day to get away from the grind. This will include blog posting. Hooray for you guys!

Highlights from vacation and the first day of school (with full description...coming soon):

• TLS's bottle of orange soda creating its own geyser while at Yellowstone
• Description (and photo or photos) of our glider rides in front of the Tetons
• Why we believe that it must be mandatory for people to leave their brains at the park entrance to Yellowstone
• An estimate of the number of potato plants we saw in Idaho
• Description of my first class, complete with dorky name badge and new spiral notebook
• How I managed to find my new BFF*, who is in two of my classes, a discussion group and a work group with me

*BFF=Best Friend Forever

How To Know Your First Day Back At Work Is Not Going Well

...when you discover you've forgotten your keycard while on your way into the building. Oops!

But the rest of the day has been okay. I actually got a compliment from the one extremely difficult person I work with. I almost fell off my chair. It was like a post-vacation miracle! (Did you hear the angels singing?!)

I promise to have a vacation post up soon. So many stories to tell and pictures to share.

Sayonara (For a Week or So)

We are leaving in the morning for Jackson, Wyoming. I'll be out of touch until the 19th, but hopefully I will come back with many more entertaining stories and some beautiful pictures.

Later taters!!

Misshapen Homemade Pizza or the State of Texas? You Decide.

I got a hankering last weekend for some homemade pizza, so I whipped up some pizza dough likety split, grabbed some toppings and a jar of spaghetti sauce and lo...this!

While it started out generally rectangular, during the baking process it came to resemble a misshapen state of Texas outline. (Or at least that's what TLS and I thought. You be the judge.)

The actual state of Texas

P.S. Those are home grown tomato and eggplant slices as pizza toppings. Yum!

Seriously Inertia Girl, You Are One Weird Cookie.

I must preface this post with the disclaimer that I do not have any children so that anything I say herein may be complete and utter crap or alternately something that everyone with children will read and then exclaim something along the lines of, "Well...duh!" (And now I immediately have to write what you are all thinking, which is "Yes, Inertia Girl. We get it already. You.Do.Not.Have.Children. Get over yourself!") Isn't it nice to know that I apparently don't even need people to read my blog? I can have the whole experience all by myself.

When is it that children physically morph from being cute and cuddly and so adorable that you literally want to just eat them up into little adults? Seriously, is there an actual moment when this change happens? And really, there's nothing wrong with having people who look like little adults running around. It's true; we're all changing on a daily basis. We all go from newborn to infant to child to adult to the grave. (Wow! That certainly got morbid all of a sudden, didn't it?)

I guess it is a weird question to ask, but having four nephews and a niece, ranging in age from almost 15 (fifteen!) to 7, I've seen the transformation take place but never been able to put my finger on the specifics of it. Or place exactly what makes them stop looking like a child and more like an adult. (I've almost convinced myself that it has to do with the arms and legs--long and skinny and no longer pudgy.)

Unfortunately for those of you who are looking for some sense of cohesion or a point to the post, I'm afraid that I really don't have one. I just saw a picture today of someone's daughter that I hadn't seen in a while and somewhere in between this photo and the last, she went from child to little adult. It came as such a shock that I was moved to write a blog post to ponder the question.