Ode to Bluebonnets

I saw my first bluebonnets of the season this week and it again warmed the cockles of my little Texan heart to see them. I was moved to write a haiku to commemorate the occasion. Here goes:

Bluebonnets

jaunty bluebonnets

vivid blue and starkest white

roadside happiness

Here's my bluebonnet post from last year in case anyone wants to brush up on my bluebonnet-loving ways.

Misshapen Homemade Pizza or the State of Texas? You Decide.

I got a hankering last weekend for some homemade pizza, so I whipped up some pizza dough likety split, grabbed some toppings and a jar of spaghetti sauce and lo...this!

While it started out generally rectangular, during the baking process it came to resemble a misshapen state of Texas outline. (Or at least that's what TLS and I thought. You be the judge.)

The actual state of Texas

P.S. Those are home grown tomato and eggplant slices as pizza toppings. Yum!

Can Anybody Hum The Theme To Wild Kingdom?

The other day when we got home from work we were greeted by this visitor on our front porch:



Based on my research (and who knew there was a website solely devoted to turtles native to Texas?), I believe this is a beautiful specimen of a Red Eared Slider (Trachemys scripta elegans). I'm not sure I've ever seen a turtle this pristine with such amazing shell patterns.

Since he, or more likely she based on her (somewhat large) size, wasn't going anywhere since she'd walked herself right into a corner. Like the great humanitarian TLS is, he picked the turtle up and transfered it across the street to a large field. Of course, that sentence made it seem much easier than it really was. Normally when you pick up a turtle, the head and all four legs get tucked into the shell. You might get a hissing noise if old turtley is in a particularly foul mood (or if you're particularly unlucky, you might get peed on), but our porch visitor stuck out her neck and started "swimming" as soon as TLS picked her up, causing him to put her quickly back down since he was getting raked by those sharp little claws. Luckily, the work gloves were close at hand and she was on her way.

Safe travels, little reptile!

Chick-O-What?

Many of you know that I no longer eat chocolate, which is a pity, I know. Believe me, no one would love to eat it more than I do, but it would be BAD NEWS of the very, very bad variety if I did, so I don't. Why? You very understandably ask. Well, that's an exceedingly long story that I usually boil down to the simple phrase, "I have a chronic pain condition that I keep under control with diet." Most of the time, people (read: men) infer that the mysterious condition of which I speak is of the dreaded female variety and ... voila! end. of. story. It has been over ten years since my last taste of chocolate and actually, if I were forced to confess, it hasn't been too bad. Granted, I do sometimes ask TLS if I can smell (really! just smell!) the fantastically chocolatey thing he's eating. And, come to think of it, I did have dreams right after I went on zero chocolate lock-down where I was cramming an entire slice of chocolate cake into my mouth. That being said, though, probably the hardest thing has been to find candy or dessert options that don't have chocolate in them. (This is hardly a a tragedy of epic proportions, I realize. Just trying to give a little background. Really.)

One of the non-chocolate candies that I have recently re-discovered is the humble Chick-O-Stick. It's made in (relatively) nearby Lufkin, Texas -- a fact I didn't realize until I went looking for a link for this post -- and it warms the little Texan cockles of my heart to know that I'm supporting a local business. For those of you who don't follow the link above, a Chick-O-Stick is basically a cylindrical Butterfinger ... only better. I hadn't had one in years (literally years since I think it was during that far-off land of junior high the last time I ate one) and bought one on a whim several months ago. "Ooh!" I thought to myself, "I really like this candy," and mentioned it to TLS. Flash forward to a month or so ago when he was headed to the local convenience store/gas station/local old geezer hang-out. He asked if I wanted anything and I was non-committal so he promised to bring me back a surprise (or a "sussie" if you live at our house). You guessed it, he came back with a handful of Chick-O-Stick (There will be no judging; they are only about half an inch in diameter and about three inches long so it wasn't like I was eating four or five of those king sized candy bars.) and an addiction was born. When I get more than one I swear that I'm only going to eat one and save the rest for later--make them last--and then dang if I don't eat them all within the first 30 minutes. I cannot tell a lie; I am truly weak.

Earlier this week after stopping at the convenience store/gas station/local old geezer hang-out, TLS came out with another handful and as I munched my way through them before we could even get home, I had this brilliant thought, "I bet TLS buys me the world's largest Chick-O-Stick for my 40th birthday." (A birthday that is still eleven months off, I must remind everyone. I am but a mere spring chicken.) I turned and shared this momentous idea with him and watched his eyes almost bug out of his head. Apparently, he had been having the exact same thought. Freaky, I know. I think it is official. We are now sharing a single warped brain. Go figure.

We Now Interrupt This Blog for Sports

Conversation on the ride home last night while listening to the Texas Rangers double-header on the radio:

TLS: They better hope they win both of these games or they are going to be in a situation they won't get out of -- in week two of the season.
Me: And how is this different than any other Rangers season?
TLS: Boo-bird!* I'm going to put you out at the boo-bird bus stop over there.
Me: What?! No one wants them to win more than me!
TLS: Oh yeah. I haven't seen you blog about them yet. ... I guess that's because it's not a sports blog. (putting up air quotes)

So here it is TLS, my Texas Rangers post.

MEMO
To: The Deity or higher power who governs baseball
From: Inertia Girl

re: The Texas Rangers

It's probably too much to ask, but could you please give the Rangers a decent season this year? I know that we can never field a decent pitching staff and that we spend too much money for marquis players at positions that don't add to the bottom line. But we try, Lord, oh how we try. You saw fit to give the Red Sox a world championship, so I know that you are benevolent. (Although I'm not sure what you still have against the Cubs, but that's a request for another day, I suppose.) While I'd love to see the boys win the whole shebang this year, I'm not greedy. I'd just like to see them get to the second round of the playoffs (while beating the pants off the dreaded Yankees if you could throw that in) would be great.


* Boo-bird - (noun) A fan who denigrates his or her own team's chances for the season.

A Happy News Item, For Once

Apparently it's feast or famine over here at Misadventures...

TLS and I heard a piece on the radio this morning about a pediatric oncology patient who had his portable game player and games stolen from the family's car during a stop on their way to the hospital for his monthly chemotherapy appointment. They reported the burglary to police but didn't expect much to come from it. You know, what with big city apathy and all that. Well, it turns out that officers from the Dallas Police Department donated $1,200 to replace the belongings and have the car window repaired (with about $850 given to the family for anything else they might need). How's that for a feel-good story?

Link to DMN article for more details.

Long Time, No See

O.K. So I know that I've been absent for a few days on the ol' blog. Hopefully someone missed my unique (read: strange) sense of humor or maybe it was just like in the old westerns when the wind whistles down the empty streets and a tumbleweed goes bouncing down the wooden sidewalk. (Sometimes I amaze even myself with the weird stuff that comes out of my brain.) Anyway, back to reality...

I don't have a real excuse. I think it was a combination of not having much to say and the perfectionist in me not wanting to start on something unless it could be "perfect". (Whew, there's nothing like putting all of your insecurities and neuroses out on the Internet for everyone to see.)

It is my favorite time of the year in North Texas. Bluebonnet time! Hooray! Just last week I was thinking, "Where are the bluebonnets?" and then, lo, I saw my first clump by the side of the highway. I know it's all Texan-ist (Texas chauvanist) of me, but there is something about the state flower growing happily along our roadsides that makes my heart full. And don't ask how I know they are happy, I just know. They are all blue and white and cute and lovable. Like this. Also, during the height of the season, you'll see people who have pulled off to take pictures of their kids among the flowers. I even once saw a bridal photo shoot taking place along Interstate 30 and I have to say that the white dress looked gorgeous next to the vivid blue and green. I feel the cockles of my heart being warmed even now!