An Actual Conversation at Casa Inertia

Feeling nostalgic for blogging, I've scoured my planner for my password, which I had completely forgotten, and used it to log on.  I'm looking at the dashboard and contemplating whether or not I want to actually post something.

TLS: (walking through the kitchen, glancing at my laptop) Whatcha doing?  Oh, The Misadventures of Inertia Girl.  Are you resurrecting her?

Me:  Maybe. Thinkin' about it.

TLS:  Do you want me to start writing for you?  I have some time on my hands.

Me:  I think I might pay money for you to guest blog.

TLS: (walking away) ...laughter...

And ... scene.

We'll see whether I can come up with enough material on my own or if I need to put TLS on the payroll. One day (or post) at a time.  And in the meantime, I've changed the template to mix things up a bit.

What-Ifs and Whys

I must have woken up in a very philosophical frame of mind this morning because this was the first real conversation of the day with TLS.

Scene: TLS is in the kitchen making sure he has everything he needs before he heads out to run errands.

Me: (Walking in the kitchen, still in jammies. Smiling.)
TLS: Why are you so happy this morning? (Pause) Just happy to be alive?
Me: (hugging TLS) Just happy that you're here.
TLS: Where else would I be?
Me: I meant that in more of a what-if-we-hadn't-met kind of way.
TLS: Oh. That's a weird thought. Where would we be?
Me: It is weird. You'd probably be here...
TLS: (interrupting) In [our town]?
Me: Yes.
TLS: (laughing) Nah, I'd probably be in [names of high end suburbs] living with my doctor wife, playing golf every day.
Me: (also laughing) You wish!

It made me think that we never really know what kind of differences that the consequences of our choices make. What if I had married the jerky Air Force ex-boyfriend? What if I had gone to library school earlier? What if TLS had finished college earlier? It all makes my head spin a little bit, but I have to say that I'm glad things happened the way they did. I have a hard time believing that I could be any happier than I am right now.

Ta-freakin'-Da!

Well, peeps, the end of the semester is officially here and I am done with my last assignment. Ahead of schedule. And hopefully done well. Go ahead, call me an a**-kisser, brown-noser, or curve-wrecker. I can't help it, I'm just anal. And driven. And competitive. Now, where's the tequila?! Must celebrate.

An actual conversation from yesterday:

Me: So if Alabama and wins today, and depending on what happens with Oklahoma and Texas, it will be Alabama versus one of them for the national championship, right?
TLS: Yes.
Me: Well, in that case, Roll Tide.
TLS: Why?
Me: Because I refuse to cheer for either one of them. (Aside: sorry Chris!)
TLS: And go against a fellow Big 12 conference team?
Me: Phooey on OU and UT!
TLS: You know, you don't get much "phooey" anymore.
Me: I'm bringing "phooey" back.
TLS: Making "phooey" sexy. (pause) Good luck with that.

A Post About Two Totally Unrelated Things

Unrelated thing #1:
So the day that I posted last (the date of which I could officially look up, but that would mean that I'd have to save what I've written as a draft and then go into Editing Posts mode and open that post to check the date and then close it and come back to what I have here and lord, if that doesn't seem like far too much work), I got a call from TLS that consisted of this:


TLS: I just read your blog posting.
Me: Yes?
TLS: BOOOORING!
Me: Sorry that I can't live up to your high expectations. What do you think is blog-worthy?
TLS: That my teams won both soccer games last night.
Me: I'll get right on that.


So, TLS, this one's for you. I officially announced to all five of my loyal readers (and a bunch of people all over the world that query Google for pictures of barn swallows - weird, I know) that your teams really kicked some booty. And now that I've written that entire story, I know that I posted last on Wednesday, which would be yesterday, but somehow it seemed like a much longer ago than that. (It's official; I'm losing my mind.)

Unrelated thing #2:
I got my graded project back last night. You know, the one that I spent a bazillion hours alternately writing and dejectedly rolling around on the floor moaning about. I got a 98! Wooo!
And yes, as excited as I was to get that awesome grade (which was pretty excited and involved running into the living room, yelling "I got a 98!", and flinging my arms and legs around in a spaz-tastic way) I was a teeeeny bit peeved to have lost those 2 points. Never happy, I know.

As Wholesome As Apple Pie

The set up:
There is about a five-mile stretch of our drive in to work that has a traffic light every mile or so. The powers that be do not have these lights synchronized, so it is nearly impossible to catch all of them as green. It does happen infrequently, though. When that happens, it's enough of a rarity that it's worth commenting upon.

The actual conversation this morning: **
Me: (While TLS drives through the final light) Wow! It's a Monday morning miracle!
TLS: Why?
Me: We made all the lights. They were all green.
TLS: (Looking at me strangely) We had to stop at one.
Me: No we didn't.
TLS: Yes, we did.
Me: Really?! No we didn't.
(pause)
Me: (laughing) Well, it felt like we made them all.
TLS: What are you doing there in the bathroom before I get up, (puts his index finger and thumb to his mouth and inhales) toking on your crack pipe?
Me: (hysterically laughing) You don't smoke a crack pipe like that.
TLS: (laughing) Oh yeah, how do you know?
Me: I know everything.

**Total disclaimer: Neither TLS nor I have ever done any illicit drugs. Ever. I swear. To make my point, we went to Jamaica (world capital of street-corner ganja sales) on our honeymoon and were perhaps the only people on the planet never offered drugs. We met another couple while we were there that didn't even make it out of the airport before being accosted. Apparently, our halos were too shiny! Inertia Girl and TLS, as wholesome as apple pie.

You Can Call Me BOA

TLS and I were eating sushi at our favorite neighborhood sushi place this weekend. (And by neighborhood, I don't mean that it is in our neighborhood. We're lucky to have a gas station and a feed store in our neighborhood, so I'm figuring that the first sushi restaurant will open near us in, oh, about 2020. I simply mean to convey that it is a family-owned, non-conglomerate business. But I digress. As usual.) The sushi chef had a college football game on the TV and it happened to be between the school where TLS and I met and a local university. TLS graduated there in 1992 when I was attending my first (abortive) stint in graduate school--a story to be told for another day. Here's how the general conversation went:

Me: We should really go back for a football game this season.
TLS: Yeah, a couple of alumni like us, they must be dying to have us back.
Me: We'll, you're the alumnus. I just attended.
(pause)
TLS: They want you too; you're Bride of Alumnus

I think I might have found my new nickname.