I Could Go for a Xanax About Now

A few years back I had what I would delicately call (after coughing behind my hand) a female problem. No one really wants all the gory details but what it came down to was experiencing a lot of pain in an area of the body that about 99.99999% of the time you don't even think about having. My doctor could diagnose the problem as generic "inflammation" but wasn't able to pinpoint the cause...or alternately, provide much in the way of treatment options. As you might imagine, this made me more than a little cranky and depressed. I sought the counsel of a wonderful psychiatrist who tried prescribing an antidepressant, but as I am extremely sensitive to prescription drugs (and probably the illicit ones too, but as we've established previously, I've never done any of those before) I wasn't able to continue taking the Zoloft she prescribed. As a result, she gave me a prescription for the anti-anxiety medication, Xanax, with a stern warning that it would not be given long-term due to its propensity for addiction and abuse. And after taking it, I could understand why. I used to take a half of the smallest dose (1 mg as I remember, but it's been a few years so I could be wrong about that) and that was enough to spread a warm feeling throughout my whole body. Oh sure, my problems were all still there, but I just didn't care. It was a delicious feeling, but I was smart enough to use it only on the most dire days--when I was having a hard time of it--holding myself together with duct tape and baling wire, which seems to be an extremely Texan saying. Long story short, I was able (through help from my mom and mother-in-law) to find a holistic treatment that made me pain free (Hooray!) and I didn't need to use the Xanax anymore.

I could definitely be talked into using my little friend "Xan" for the last month or so, though. My company experienced some layoffs in January that directly influenced my workload (and not in a good way). Don't get me wrong, I am happy to have a job in today's economy, but added to my schoolwork this semester I seem to want to escape to "Xan" island. Things have been better in the last couple weeks but anxiety seems to be my constant companion these days. Sigh.